Limerick #24

I'm literally falling asleep
Trying to write this mother bleep.
I should write in advance
So I can take off pants,
Jump in bed and start counting sheep.

Limerick #23

What the hell happened to December?
I swear yesterday was November...
In two weeks and a bit
I've done lots of shit,
Most of which I cannot remember.

Limerick #22

There once was a bug from B.C.
That could harm much more than a flea.
He was ready to dine
On delicious pine
When frost killed him and saved the tree.

Limerick #21

There once was a bare plastic tree
That for two weeks stared straight at me.
It said, "What's the deal?
I want balls to feel!"
I said, "Shut it perv, I've been busy."

Haiku #4

Minus forty-six.
Are you effing kidding me?
Minus forty-six.